Thursday, April 12, 2007

Here we are...

I certainly was not expecting to be here at this point. It looks like we will still have a baby in 2007. I scheduled an appointment with the OB. I go in next Wednesday for lab work then they will schedule an ultrasound. Unfortunately, I have to go back to the place I dislike.

I called my old OB and found out it would be $235 per visit plus the cost of ultrasounds and labs if we paid out of pocket. The office manager said it would be fine to change back July 1 when my new insurance starts. I am pleased about that. I am disappointed we have to go back to the place we are not happy with, but I need to go to the doctor between now and July and we just can't work out the out of pocket expenses.

I am feeling much better. I am not sure if it is the Zoloft or the fact I am pregnant again. I am having difficulty being excited though. That makes me feel guilty which makes me feel like a bad person. I really want to have a baby. I am worried that since I haven't had a period since my miscarriage, I'll miscarry again. I am not experiencing the same symptoms as before, so I am concerned the pregnancy tests were wrong.

My husband confided in me last night that if I am not really pregnant he will feel just as bad as when we miscarried. He is really excited. I am glad he is excited. I hope this all works out.

We have told our best friends. We are waiting to tell others until after I have been to the doctor. I am really nervous about telling my friend K. She had a baby stillborn in November and is having trouble getting pregnant again. She struggles more than I do to be around children and other pregnant people.

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