Friday, May 25, 2007

3 Months Today

Today is the 3rd month anniversary of losing our first baby. I was pretty emotional this morning, but I am doing better now. I am feeling like I am beginning to move on.

On that note, I am thinking about changing the title of my blog. Someone suggested that several weeks ago and I would love to do that. Do you have any ideas? This is still about me healing from my miscarriage, but also embracing having a child so soon after my miscarriage.

My mom had had a daycare in her home since I was 12 or 13 years old. I have spent MANY hours helping care for children and taking classes learning how to deal with children. I'll come back to this in a minute...

When I told mom about my pregnancy, she did not really react the way I expected her to. She was busy cleaning the house getting ready for daycare the next day. My feelings weren't really hurt, it just didn't go the way I thought it would. A couple days ago I called her to double check which hotel she & my dad are staying at for the wedding. After she told me she asked how we were getting there. When I told her either the Jeep or our car, I wasn't sure what her point was until she told me that she had a brand new infant and regular car seat that she had bought for daycare use and then decided not to use, and she is bringing it to me. She was making sure we would have room for them. Knowing my mom they are probably top of the line. I am really excited. She bought the infant seat because it came with a stroller she liked. She said she might have a stroller for me too. She seemed really excited when she was telling me about them. It will save us a bunch of money too.

Now that I am expecting again, I have a dilemma. I would love to stay home with my children until they go to school and then work part-time or semi-part time. However, if I continue to work for a year, M and I can pay off his school loan and make a big dent in paying off our house. This would require using childcare. Up until a year ago, I worked as a "daycare" inspector, not really but that is the easiest way to explain my job without going into all the details. So I have been to about 125 daycares in this area and heard stories of probably another 200. Out of those, there are less than 10 I would consider. None of them are like my moms. I keep comparing them to hers. She once received a large grant from the state and received a phone call from the (now former) governor congratulating her on the quality of her center and telling her that if his grandchildren were in the same town, he would really like them to attend her daycare. She is a mentor to other providers as well. Too bad she lives 15 hours from here. That is just too far to commute.

If I quit work, financially we will be OK. However, working another year will free up about $600 per month in our budget. It would be easier for us to not have that expense when future children join our family. It would also allow us to do things such as take yearly vacations and buy a new truck. I also think it will be easier to work while our baby is an infant. Once he or she starts walking and talking, I think it will be more difficult to drop him/her off with someone else each day. There may be a solution somewhere in between as well.


Tiffany said...

I worked until my son was 15 months old. I had to work so we could save a little nest egg. I don't feel bad about working because we now have money in savings to pay for things that pop up unexpectedly-and yes that has happened. And not being stressed over where the money is going to come from makes like much easier.

So I say one year isn't bad. And to be better off financially will give you less of a headache if the unexpected pops up.

Chris said...

I quit my job as a teacher so that I could put more effort into trying to get pregnant. No, not more quality time with my husband (though we did get that), but for time to attend doctor appointments and treatments. I'm taking next year off too. By the time we have kids I may have to go back to work just to make up for two years off! Since planning seems to be for the birds, and not a very useful technique when it comes to infertility and miscarriage, might I suggest that you wait until you hold your precious baby in your arms before you make any decisions? While on your maternity leave you can decide what is best for your family.
As for a new name for your blog, if you still want to acknowledge your miscarriage in your blog you could call it something like "My life after miscarriage" or "blessings after miscarriage". You could even pick something that better reflects who you are as a person. Good luck!