Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Dear Abby from Mother's Day

DEAR ABBY: On Mother's Day, our church has a tradition of asking all the mothers in the congregation to stand for a blessing and recognition of their importance to our community and the job they are doing.
My wife refuses to stand and be recognized by our community as a mother. She says she won't do it because there are some women in our church who are not standing, and some of them might not be able to be mothers and may be hurt at the recognition the others are receiving.

I realize that infertility may be a great loss to them, but these women live with it every day. I doubt that our church's annual recognition of mothers will add more pain than those women already endure. Don't you agree? -- PROUD HUSBAND AND FATHER IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR PROUD HUSBAND AND FATHER: No, I do not agree. Your wife is a woman with unusual sensitivity and empathy for the feelings of others. I respect her stance on remaining seated, and so should you.

I purposely avoided church this past Sunday just because I didn't think I could tolerate the standing or the passing out of flowers. Going on vacation really helped take my mind off the day. I understand churches want to honor people, but it unnecessarily can cause pain to others. I appreciate Abby speaking out for those of us who would be caused pain by this act.


Tina said...

This is the first chance I have had to stop on your blog - thanks for posting on mine.

You know, Abby's response is quite right - this woman is very sensitive to how others might feel. I feel the same way - and I feel just as strongly that those Mothers with Children or Expectant Mothers parking spaces are just as insulting. Glad you posted this!

Anonymous said...

I appreciate your blog! It is absolutely uncanny how many experiences we have shared. I lost my baby at 7.5 weeks on June 29th and I am trying to get pregnant again.

Our church has an infant baptism just about every other week and we sing "Jesus loves me" every time. It makes me want to throw up, though I'm not sure why. I think I am done "boycotting" God in this situation. Our church also just put in Expectant Mother parking, which my pregnant friends refuse to use. (Because of me?)