Thursday, June 7, 2007

Different Types of Friends

Have you ever thought about your friends and how you are friends with people for many different reasons. After a phone conversation the other night, I starting thinking about that. My variety of friends have been really helpful in healing from my miscarriage and preparing for this new baby. I guess I use the term "friend" lightly because I really only have 2 or 3 close friends. However, I have a wide circle of people that know me and I am comfortable with.

My best friends (besides M) are MF and CF. They are like family. When we had our scare M was able to call them from the emergency room. The night of the miscarriage, we went to their house and just sat and cried even though it was late and they both had to work the next day. We can stop by their house without calling. We expect to see them several times throughout the week, rarely planned. However, if we go a few days without seeing them that is OK too. I can call either of them any time of day and would not worry a bit about it.

My fun friend. She is younger than me, the same age as 2 of my brothers, she was probably the most popular girl in high school. She is fun to hang out with because she is always positive. She gets excited about little things like movies geared towards 13 year old girls. She has her friends over for sleep overs. If she asks how I am doing, she listens to my tone of voice. If I say fine, but don't sound fine, she'll call me out. I can talk to her about anything and she never judges me. Two days after my miscarriage she came over to my house during her lunch break since M needed to leave. She brought with her every comfort item she could think of and sat with me for an hour and cried. She is incredibly excited about the new baby and even though she hasn't been in my shoes, she still understands that I am not done grieving my first baby. She is one of the few people I have been able to express that to without getting a weird response.

My exercise buddies. I only hang out with them to exercise. I vent about work, classes, not losing weight, my family, etc. I may see them twice a week or I may not see them for weeks. There is little pressure on these relationships, we just hang out to get through our workouts.

My intellectual friends. One is an attorney, one is my boss, they are an interesting couple. They watch smart movies, read long books, and know the best dessert at every restaurant in town. They take me outside my comfort zone doing things like introducing me to sushi.

My old friends. This is a couple I have known since I moved to this area, almost 8 years ago. They knew me right after I moved out of my parents house and although I was 21, I was just a kid. They have met my family, were in my wedding, and have watched me grow up. I can go weeks or months without seeing them, but when I do again, it is like we just saw each other the day before.

My tween & teen friends. These are the kids from church who think M and I are cool (do kids even use that term anymore?). They invite us to their sleepovers and to their school plays. They ask us for advice in their relationships. When their friends start experimenting with drugs, they aren't scared to tell us about it. When M was working out of town during his co-op, I would get postcards at different times from them telling me they were thinking about me and that I could hang out with them if I got lonely. One of the 7th graders sent me a note recently out of the blue just telling me she loved me and felt comfortable talking to me. One of the junior guys found out about our miscarriage and gives me a hug whenever he sees me. Most of them are the kids I hope mine grow up to be.

My mature friends. Had I not moved to this area as a young adult, I probably wouldn't be friends with these people because they are closer to my parents age. Most of them are parents of my tween and teen friends. They get insight from us about what their kids are really like. They trust us to take their kids out of town. They give us advice about career choices, raising kids, education, etc.

My church friends. As the title suggests, these are the friends who I go to church with. I know most of them from classes or my home church. I guess they are really acquaintances, but I know that I can go to them about anything if I need to. These are the people who randomly send me cards, offer to pray for me, and give me hugs even when they don't know I really need one. They don't have to know every detail of my life, yet if something big is going on, I can trust them with that knowledge.

Next time I am feeling lonely, I need to reread this to remind myself of how blessed I am.


Chris said...

You are indeed mighty blessed!

mandolyn said...

I think I need to do this, too. Sometimes I think I forget how luckly I am to have all the people around that I call friends.

Good stuff.