Friday, June 1, 2007

Overcoming Anxiety

Do you ever have days where you just can't focus? Yesterday was like that for me. I had a ton to do at work and I was very distracted. I hadn't told my boss about my pregnancy yet but I had told a couple of people that work in my building. I was stressed about him finding out from someone else and about telling him. M and I went to ice cream with my boss and his wife last night, after an hour, M told them. They are both excited, and the stress is gone.

Also yesterday, I called my old OB/GYN's office to set up an appointment for July and found out my OB is leaving the practice mid-July. This completely threw me off base. I have been seeing her for check-ups since I was in college. She was the doctor I saw when I had a 7 week long period and she didn't make me freak out about what was wrong with me. She also made the uncomfortable yearly exam not so weird. She or her nurses take very good notes about the conversations she has and when I go in at my next visit, she always asks how my vacation was or if my husband is enjoying his engineering classes. I know that she has too many patients to remember all the small details like that, but I like the fact that she does try, and reviews my chart before meeting with me.

Another positive is that she is associated with the smaller hospital in town. It is very nice inside, the maternity rooms are huge and newly remodeled. The staff are always polite. This hospital delivers a lot of babies, but not as many as the 2 other hospitals in town. This hospital reminds me of the hospital in my hometown, another plus in my eyes. Going to that hospital I wasn't worried about my baby being one of 15 born the same day.

She will now be associated with what is known locally as "The Baby Hospital". Her old office only told me which hospital she would be associated with, not the practice. They said a letter would be going out to her patients in the next 2 or 3 weeks, but the girl was very willing to set me up with a different doctor in her practice. I was very panicked. I didn't want to wait 2 or 3 more weeks to be able to set up a July appointment, and I was anxious to leave the doctors at the practice I am currently going to. My old OB is hard to get into see and usually, unless it is an emergency, it can take 4 months to get in. I almost had a panic attack.

I can be very proactive when dealing with work stuff or helping other people. However little stuff like calling to set up an appointment for a haircut for myself is very overwhelming to me. I sometimes go a year without getting a haircut because I hate making phones calls that much. If I need a doctor's appointment it usually takes a day or two and a written script that I have practiced before I make the call. I won't answer my phone if I don't know the number, or if it is someone I don't know well and I am not sure why they are calling. I am not sure what I am scared of, but I get anxiety when it comes to the phone. I realize this and have been trying to improve. In my baby steps, I have gotten a haircut twice since the miscarriage and have another appointment set up in August, a HUGE step for me.

The point is, yesterday I was proactive for myself, without M coaching me first. I looked up all the OB practices associated with the new hospital and started calling them to see if my doctor would be joining them. It took 3 phone calls, but I found her. The office manager was so sweet that she even gave me her direct line in case I had trouble getting through on the main line. I have an appointment set up for the middle of July. I am still not sure about the bigger hospital, but I think this practice will be much better than what I have experienced in the last 3 months. I doubt they will lose my chart 3 times. This hospital will also be more convenient for my appointments so I won't have to miss as much work. I guess change can be good.


Chris said...

Good for you for taking charge! And yes, change can be good. Keep telling yourself that you have made the best choice you could and that everything will work out. And it will.

Beka said...

Wow Rachel, I am so glad to know I am not the only one who has an anxiety problem. I do EXACTLY the same thing-- I go for 6 or 7 months without a haircut just because I can't call make an appointment. Same goes for doctor's appointments, too, and I rarely answer the phone. It takes me months to return phone calls sometimes. I thought I was the only one... but I'm glad to know I'm not :-)
I'm happy that you were able to be proactive, though, and deal with this. I hope you're able to find a really good doctor.
Praying for you!!!