Wednesday, July 11, 2007


This meme was posted on the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory on 07/08/07

1. What do you want people to know about the child (or children) you have lost?
We were so excited to become parents. We had thought about the moment for a long time. We just knew the baby we lost was going to be a perfect blonde haired (like his mom) blue-eyed (like both parents) boy.

2. What names did you give (or plan to give) your children and why?
Eli J* was the name we had picked. Eli is a Bible name like mine, and one of my brother's middle names. J* was the name of the baby our friend K lost in December. We wanted to honor him. We hadn't really thought of girl names.

3. What rituals or ways of memorializing your children seem to best help you cope with their loss?
We plan to bury the letters I wrote to our child, but have not done it yet. Just having the plan has helped a lot. Venting on my blog and writing in my journal have also helped.

4. What are the kindest and/or most helpful things people have said to you? What are the worst?
I can't think of the kindest thing said to me. One of the most helpful things was the day M had to be somewhere and a friend came over and sat with me during her lunch break. I really appreciate all the people who prayed for me and who sent me cards.

The worst things I have heard are "at least you can get pregnant", "there was probably something wrong with the baby anyway" and "maybe you just weren't ready to be a mom yet"

5. Who is your hero? Who helps you make it through the dark days better than anyone else on the planet?

6. Is there anything you need to say or want to say but haven't been able to? Can you say it now?
I have been pretty good about expressing me feelings. I still don't understand why this had to happen, but it did. I guess I'll never know the why.

7. How are you doing? How are you really doing?
Today I am doing great. Most days I am just OK. Then there are the days where I am completely non-functional. Fortunately those are getting to be fewer and fewer. I still cry a couple times a week.

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