Friday, July 27, 2007

More Random Thoughts

I went to the movie "Hairspray" last night. It was really good and I don't normally like musicals. I laughed a lot. Seeing John Travolta as a woman was really hilarious.

I went with a friend to lunch today at a local restaurant that is known for it's variety of vegetarian dishes. Growing up eating very traditional foods, I normally prefer restaurants with burgers and fries, so that I know what I am getting when I order. I have always been a little nervous to go there, but I am so glad I did. I had a grilled avocado sandwich with tomatoes, hummus, and white cheddar cheese. It was very tasty. I hope I can convince M to go there some Saturday, the only time we usually make it downtown.

I am also feeling a little guilty. Yesterday a saw a guy that used to work in the same office area as me. I haven't seen him in a couple months and after a couple minutes of catching up, I told him that M and I are expecting. Afterwards I realized that maybe I shouldn't have said anything. He and his wife have been married 5 or 6 years and they are in their mid-30's. I have no idea if they want children, but they seem like the type of people who would want children. He asked me the typical questions, but later I wondered if maybe I should have kept it to myself in case him and his wife were suffering from infertility.

This also got me thinking about my sister-in-law. She and her husband have been married 11 years, and have no plans to have children. They love other people's children, but have decided they would rather be the doting aunt and uncle than parents. I respect their decision, it is not one that I would make, but it works for them. They are constantly being pestered about when they will have children, especially at church. Even after they tell people that they do not plan to have children, they usually get snide comments about how they'll want to change their minds later. So maybe this man in my building, has simply decided not to have children. I am not close enough to know that answer, but still am worried about hurting his feelings.


chicklet said...

It's amazing how infertility changes things eh? In the past you would've talked about it without a second thought, now you worry about hurting someone else.

kiLikiNa said...

i think it should be ok to him... guys handle it better than us. and it's so weird that you mention this whole thing about being sensitive because i was looking for a way to tell somebody how i'm feeling. my SIL just told me yesterday that she's pregnant in front of everyone. i was caught off guard and it was the most difficult time in my life. and i had to endure that for 2 whole hours. i just wished they told me when we were alone for me to digest the news better.

mandolyn said...

Isn't it interesting how your perspective changes with infertility? It makes you so much more conscious of other people's feelings and situations when it comes to children. I'm always amazed at how overwhelming and unintentionally rude some inquisitive people can be.

Trish said...

I think it's both the blessing and the curse of infertility to feel such empathy for others.
One of the greatest benefits of being an out of the closet infertile is that when I've gotten pregnant I've been able to say "We're finally pregnant." And even other infertiles know that it's okay.
I guess this is where the pomegranate thread comes in handy.. long as the people know about it.