Friday, August 17, 2007

Belly & Chest

I have to brag on my dermatologist. Yesterday his office called just to check and see if I am getting better. My follow up isn't until next Thursday. On the way to my appointment Saturday M and I were hit by another car. It was a very minor incident since M saw it coming and was able to move over enough so that just our mirror was damaged. It made us late to the appointment though. The nurse was concerned about the baby and called my OB just in case I didn't. I am not sure how much she makes, but she deserves a raise.

About being pregnant. Once people know, they feel like they can talk about the size of your chest and your belly freely. I don't know how to get them to stop. I have a large chest, I have since high school. Unfortunately genetics hit me from both sides of my family and I am actually one of the smallest in the chest compared to my aunts, grandmothers, and cousins. It doesn't matter what I weigh, my chest is always much larger than average. It hampers running, buying cute clothes that fit properly, and my self confidence. Pregnancy has not helped my problem at all. It seems as if every morning my chest has grown. I don't like it, but there isn't much I can do. Once we are done having children, I would like to have a reduction, but I don't want to do that before I am done nursing. Anyway, people that I don't know well feel that since I am pregnant they can comment on this. It makes me very uncomfortable. I don't mind if my husband comments or a couple of my closest friends who are aware or how I feel about this, but it is off limits for discussion by others. How do I get them to stop?

I am also not fond of people talking about my belly. I have always had a nice flat belly, now it is turning into a cute round bump. I enjoy seeing the changes and sharing them with M and my closest friends. However everyone else feels the need to analyse how big I am or am not. I have enough worries about whether the baby is developing right, I don't need to be constantly reminded that I am growing (maybe too fast) or not very big (maybe the baby quit growing). I wish people would mind their own business.

Pregnant or not, I still have some confidence issues about my body. I will never be extremely thin, I am built like a gymnast with a large chest. Pregnancy does not suddenly take away insecurities about size. When the numbers on the scale showed a number that I have never weighed before, it still took my breath away. It doesn't matter if I am gaining for a very precious reason, I am still a girl who is concerned about how I look. I try to take care of myself and eat well, but please keep your comments about how I look to yourself. (Unless you think I am gorgeous then you can tell me that all you want).

4 comments:

LizzieK said...

People loose all sense of respect when they find out someone is pregnant! I never understood why. My sister had HUGE issues with the comments and people touching her all the time. Once when someone rubbed her belly (a stranger) she actually turned to them and rubbed theirs and asked them how they liked that! Glad to hear your rash is better :-)

Geohde said...

It is odd how a pregnant woman's body becomes public property. People can be very rude sometimes.

ultimatejourney said...

I'm glad your rash is getting better.

It sounds like we are built very similarly, and I completely feel for you in the chest size/body image department.

I haven't yet dealt with other people knowing about my pregnancy, but I would think they would get the message if you politely said that your body's changes are between you and your doctor, and you don't feel comfortable talking about them with others.

kiLikiNa said...

I'm the total opposite of you. I'm so petite that I used to pass as a grade school student when I was in the US even though I was 24 then because I used to go ice skating and he always charged me the under 12 rate. Even now, my MIL always said that I'm a kid. Other than looking young, I don't like people telling me that I'm a kid because they then treat me as one. Sigh.... I don't know what they'll say when I'm pregnant next time. And let me tell you this, Chinese are worst! They'll tell you that you cannot eat this and that, do this and that... if not, you'll lose your baby. Like when I was last pregnant, I told people before I was 3 months pregnant that I was pregnant, my MIL said that was why I lost my baby! Madness!