Thursday, September 13, 2007


I have been completely off the zoloft since Sunday. Today I start my step down off prednisone. I think the timing is a bit unfortunate to be coming off both. Next Sunday is the due date of our first baby. The last time I was on prednisone for a stretch of time, I became extremely emotional while stepping down. My doctor warned me that I would probably be that way coming off the zoloft too. That combined with the first baby's due date may cause me to be an emotional wreck for the next few days. I guess if it gets too bad, I'll just stay home from work and grieve.

M just started working with a trainer and part of the process is sitting in this device that measures percentage body fat. The trainer asked him to remove his wedding band in order to get more accurate results and M refused. M hasn't removed his wedding band since we lost the baby. He used to fiddle with it all the time and not taking it off is part of his way of remembering the baby. Anyway, when he refused the trainer could tell that it was a big deal didn't push the issue. When M got home last night he was relaying the story to me and tears just started streaming down my face.

I haven't been that emotional in awhile. Then last night before falling asleep I was crying again. I am trying not to dwell on the fact that sometime in the next week I should have been meeting my first child, but I am struggling not to. I am really lucky that I will still have a child in the next few months, but I guess I will never get over losing that first one.


Chris said...

You are understandably going to be upset regardless of whether you are going off of your medication or not. Go with it, and remember that you will feel better. Hugs to you!

Geohde said...

My baby would have been due in three days from now. It hurts, doesn't it?