Friday, September 7, 2007

Moving on

Last night when I was driving home, I realized part of the reason I have not made anything or started painting anything for the baby was because I didn't want to put effort into a child we might lose. Owning some clothes that were purchased doesn't seem as harsh as having a room full of personal touches if we lose this baby. When M and I went for a walk last night, I told him I had that thought and as I was saying it I realized that I no longer live each day in fear of losing the baby. Maybe I just needed to admit it to someone else so I could move on.

He said when we first discovered I was pregnant again, he assumed we would lose this baby too. He was really worried about the fact that I didn't have a period in between pregnancies especially after the doctor emphasized waiting. I knew my fear was huge, but I had no idea how scared M was too. Since our 19 week ultrasound, we have both been feeling so much better. I still worry about something going wrong, but in a different sort of way than before. I guess my fears now are more like people who have had "normal" pregnancies.

I made a big step today. It is slow at work, so I got started on my registry. I'll still have to go to the store to add some things, but it was actually fun picking out what we will need. I guess this weekend I could get started on painting the dresser and book shelf. Once the dresser is painted, I can start putting blankets and clothes in it. I think I'll leave painting the room to M. He is a much better painter than me.

Here is a link to the bedding I think we are going to use. I think it looks a lot better in person than in this picture, but I really like it.

Thanks to Chris for nominating me for Rocking Blogger Girl! That was really sweet. I am going to pass on the honor to 5 people on Monday. Have a good weekend everyone.


Brandy said...

I LOVE the train theme! The bedding is adorable and I really hope you post some pictures when you get it all put together!

Geohde said...

I am glad to hear that you are able to let go of the fear.

I think that I might need your wise advice come my next pregnancy (whnever that may be!)

Sarah said...

congratulations on starting the registry, that was a huge step for me too. and somehow i think it paved the way to increasing excitement and hope and willingness to believe in it all. it makes sense that it takes a lot to overcome those fears. it was no small thing that planted them to begin with.

have fun getting the nursery together!

Elizabeth said...

Sounds like a big step! I can imagine the uncertainty you feel.

kiLikiNa said...

i know what you mean. i'm still so worried about my pregnancy that sometimes, i think my heart just stops. but, it's good that you're able to move on and start with all the wonderful planning. :)