Thursday, November 1, 2007

This month?

As I flipped my calendar page this morning I realized there is a strong possibility little guy will be here THIS MONTH! I am excited, scared, anxious, and happy all rolled into one.

My next appointment is Monday and I'll have an ultrasound a week from Monday. That will help M and me make the decision about induction. Yesterday I stayed home from work to rest, about noon I noticed the baby hadn't moved in awhile. I laid on my bed for about 5 minutes jiggling my stomach trying to avoid freaking out. As I started to tear up and try to decide what my next steps should be, he finally gave me a faint kick. Just enough to calm my fears. Experiences like that make me want to deliver today. At the same time I don't want him to have to be on monitors after he is born so I want to make sure his heart and lungs are ready.

I am really excited to meet him and so excited to see M as a father. I am anxious and scared about my ability to be a good mom. I did not have a good role model mom as a young child and I want to make sure history doesn't repeat itself. I have a lot of ideas about how I want to parent, but putting those ideas into practice is another story.
I got the coming home blanket done yesterday. It is really adorable. I monogrammed little guy's name on it, so I won't post pictures yet. I washed it in Dreft when I finished and it smells like a baby. I never knew Dreft was the baby smell, I just thought babies smelled a certain way. It was such a strange feeling when I pulled the blanket out of the dryer this morning and smelled that smell. It was like I realized this really is going to happen.


niobe said...

It's terrifying and exciting. But trust yourself. I know you'll be a great mom, in part, because you're already thinking about how to be one.

Elizabeth said...

Exciting!!! It's like running the last lap!

kiLikiNa said...

i know that you'll be a great mom and M will be a great dad. the baby will be one blessed person. :) btw, i've moved my pregnancy blog to

Geohde said...

Hon, I'm sure you've been told this, but if you're worried the littlge guy isn't moving, lie down, have a sugary drink and wait 30-40 mins. Babies that age have sleep cycles about that long, so if he still doesn't move, get your belly on a CTG monitor, ok?