Tuesday, September 23, 2008

"Happy" Birthday

Today we should have been celebrating a first birthday. I still think about that first baby every day, but my emotions are not near as strong. Some things still trigger my grief, but I am OK 99% of the time. I was really emotional last night and expected today to be awful, but it wasn't.

I heard a Kenny Chesney song on the radio today that I have probably heard a hundred times. I didn't really listen to the words until today:

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It was as if the song was being sung for me.

I still miss you little one. If you were here, you would have had the perfect first birthday.


Monica H said...

This song makes me tear up every time.

I'm sorry Rachel.


docgrumbles said...

you never quite know how an anniversary will hit you.

thinking of you...

dr. ekwegh said...

i thought it weird how i still mourn even now, with a beautiful baby. my angel would have been 2yrs on oct1st.
(((hugs))) i know how u must feel.

Jodi said...

I grieve for you. I've never heard the song before, but thank you for posting. We lost our baby in June and he should have entered the world on November 18.

Take care,