Wednesday, February 25, 2009

2 years

Two years ago today my life changed in a way I never expected possible.  We lost out precious first baby.

"They" tell you that time heals the pain and grief, two years ago I didn't believe that.  Today I do.  I still think about our baby, the emotional loss, the physical loss, but it isn't as hard to deal with.  I still cry at times missing that baby and the life that might have been.  I feel like there is a part of our family missing.

However, today I am blessed with a son who I would not have if we didn't lose that baby. 

My loss gave me empathy for those struggling with loss not just of children but of spouses, friends, and parents.  It has opened doors for me to talk to people more in depth that I wouldn't have otherwise.

Today I am sad for my loss, but I am happy for what I do have.  I know that I will never forget our baby.

10 comments:

ultimatejourney said...

I often think about this type of stuff with Baby A. I'm still sad that hubby can't have children, but I wouldn't have Baby A otherwise. And I can't imagine not having her. It's hard to reconcile all the feelings sometimes.

Monica H said...

I am sad for your loss too. Time goes by but it doesn't always take away the pain or the memory of what could have/should have been.

I won't forget him either.

Artblog said...

Offering you a virtual hug as you remember your baby. HUGS!

XXXXXXXX

Jeanine said...

I'm so happy to read your story and see that you have a happy ending! Your story gives me hope that I will have a successful pregnancy and hold my baby in my arms one day. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage 3 weeks ago.
I wish you and your baby all the happiness in the world!

Rachel said...

Jeanie,

I am sorry for your loss.

There are many great resources available to help you deal with the grief. I am glad that you have found my blog helpful, that was my goal.

Just take one day at a time. I'll be praying for you today.

Rachel

docgrumbles said...

Even after one enters your life under much better circumstances, you don't forget the losses.

Nerns said...

I just lost my second baby at 12 weeks. I had a terrible miscarriage where I hemorrhaged and instead of being a deeply personal experience, it ended up being a gong show with people trying to save me while my baby died. I was having a really hard time with grieving until someone sent me the link to your blog. Thank you so much for writing your experiences down. I don't feel so alone anymore, or lost. I now don't feel as if I am going crazy.

Thank you again for normalizing a sad experience.

I am sad that you had to experience baby loss as well. I hope that you are doing ok.

Dr. Grumbles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AngelMommy said...

August 27, 2013 8:30Am I (age 17) had a DNC and my baby was taking away. I was 13 weeks and it was my first pregnancy. A couple days before I was sitting in the chair waiting on my baby's heartbeat and we heard nothing. I broke down it was the worst day anyone could ever have. I wouldn't wish that onon any one! I thought every thing was over . Everyone would say I'll heal in time and I have its a year later we have been trying for another (no luck yet but it's all in God's hands). Yes I still cry when I think of my baby I can't hold, I can't teach, or I can't kiss but but I always tell myself "Every thing happens for a reason" and it helps me keep going... I resently had my grandma pass and I picture every night of her holding and caring for my baby for me.

Anonymous said...

Let's pray a prayer of hope that never fails:
"St. Jude, glorious apostle, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the person (who betrayed our Lord) has caused you to be forgotten by many, but the true Church invokes you universally as the Patron of things despaired of. Pray for me, who is so miserable; pray for me, that I may finally receive the consolations and the succor of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (ADD YOUR PERSONAL REQUEST HERE), and that I may bless God with the Elect Throughout Eternity."